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🔥 Sex & Intimacy
Is my sex drive normal?
Desire discrepancy is the #1 sex complaint.
Rate each statement: 1 (strongly disagree) to 5 (strongly agree).
1I think about sex or feel sexual desire frequently.
2I initiate sexual activity with my partner.
3I rarely feel "in the mood" even when conditions are right.
4I enjoy sexual fantasies or erotic content.
5My sex drive feels lower than it used to be.
6Physical touch and intimacy are important to me.
7I would be fine going weeks without sexual activity.
8I feel sexually responsive when my partner initiates.
9Stress, fatigue, or medication have reduced my sex drive.
10I feel satisfied with my current level of sexual desire.
Sexual desire: there is no "normal"
Desire discrepancy (mismatched libidos) is the #1 sexual complaint in couples therapy. The problem isn't low desire — it's the mismatch.
Score interpretation (higher = higher libido)
- 10-20: Lower libido — could be natural variation or worth exploring
- 21-30: Moderate — common range
- 31-40: Above average — strong sexual desire
- 41-50: High libido — very strong sexual drive
Desire facts
- Spontaneous desire (random urge) vs responsive desire (arousal in context) — both are normal
- Libido naturally decreases with age — testosterone drops 1% per year after 30
- SSRIs reduce libido in 40-65% of users
- Asexuality (~1% of population) is a valid orientation, not a disorder
Sources: Basson (2000, responsive desire model), Bancroft (2009), Brotto (2010), ISSM.